came up with a new insult. hey did you hear that the bolshoi ballet started a new troupe? yeah… it’s for dumb fucks. and you’re the prima ballerina
(via grandmastattoo)
Izzy, she/her, 24. perpetual anticipation is good for the soul but it's bad for the heart.
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Cows reaction when they see grass after being shut down indoors for 6 months.
This is also common practice in Sweden. Dairy cows are kept indoors during the winter, then released into their pasture in spring. The kosläpp (release of the cows) is an annual event usually open to visitors. There’s even an expression derived from it.
it’s so marvelous to me that humans make an annual event of gathering around specifically to watch cows experience joy. the humans are excited that the cows are excited, to the point they make sure the human kids get front row seats, cause they know the kids will be extra excited. there is so much vicarious joy here. how remarkable a world, where we do things specifically for the pleasure of seeing other people and creatures happy.
(via tricky-bastard-pokemon)
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by far the funniest thing you can say immediately after winning the NBA finals
for those of you who don’t follow basketball, this guy is the best player in the world right now
#basketball#I LEARNED THIS LORE I LEARNED THIS LORE#DUE TO OUR STAR WARS CHAT MELTING DOWN INTO ESPN SPORTZONE#so jokic has been giving these vibes for his team’s ENTIRE championship run up to and INCLUDING after the win#at the press conference afterwards (bear in mind he has just won the most PRESTIGIOUS PRIZE in all basketball)#he said to the reporter 'the job is done now we can go home 😐’#and then in the morning presser after someone asked if jokic was excited for the parade#he was like 'parade? when is parade? no no - i need to go home’ and put his head in his hands#AND THEN THE PARADE HAPPENED AND THE TEAM WAS PLIED WITH COPIOUS CHAMPAGNE AND ADORATION OF DENVER POPULACE#jokic got on the mike after several Champagne ™ applications#and said 'HELLO DENVER I KNOW I TOLD I DIDN’T WANT TO STAY ON PARADE BUT I FUCKING WANT TO STAY ON PARADE THIS IS THE BEST’#(yes that is a verbatim quote you can CHECK me on it)#that night the entire team went to a club and jokic got a round of this special plum vodka for the table#it apparently DESTROYED them all bc the next morning one of his teammates did an IG live from his hotel bed#it was super dark and you could see like half the poor dude’s face smushed against the pillow#and he said in the most Sickly and Hungover Voice Imaginable#'i want you all to know…this is nikola’s fault…he did this to me…#i’m never drinking again…it was that serbian shit…nikola did this to me…’ (via @takiki16)
this narrative needs to be exposed to the world and not hidden in the tags. long live star wars espn sportzone chat.
(via im-phillip)
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oh so they’re just saying the quiet part out loud? Good to know they’re just out and open now
That’s not the quiet part.
There’s something else, something they might not even be fully aware of themselves. The real quiet part is that if it was *their* child or *their* ectopic pregnancy they’d pull out all the stops to save their life or get their grandchild aborted. Planned Parenthood sees reactionaries and regressives all the time, and they are every bit the nightmare patients you’d imagine them to be. But the one thing all those patients have in common is that *their* abortion is *justified*, and the next week they’ll be outside the clinic again, rejoining the protestors for “killing their baby”.
It’d be one thing to have ghoulish principles, but the far-right have none at all.
When I was younger and had more time to waste on the internet, and spent a lot of time in various online forums getting into arguments – on purpose – I made up a game I called Six Degrees of Slut.
The game (which is a variation on the well known Six Degrees of Bacon) was very simple. In any discussion of abortion, see whether you could get the other side to articulate, within six back-and-forth exchanges, some variation of The Filthy Sluts Must Be Punished. Regardless of where their argument started, the goal of the game was to get them to admit that.
I never once lost a game of Six Degrees of Slut. On a few occasions the match was inconclusive - the other person left off arguing before we reached round six - but I never lost; I never once reached six rounds of debate with a prolifer without them expressing some variation on this sentiment. But what was really remarkable to me was, a lot of times, that there was no effort involved at all – they would blurt it out themselves, with effectively no provocation.
Scratch a prolifer, and you’ll find right under the surface the conviction that The Filthy Sluts Must Be Punished. I have never once yet found an exception. Sometimes you don’t even have to scratch.
(via bumblebeebats)
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John Darnielle performing “Going to Georgia” at the Mountain Goats show in New York City, August 4, 2023
(via dykecrowley)
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*sidles up to you at the bar* would you like to hear my wise aphorism
only if it’s actually wise. the last guy who asked me this had a pretty foolish aphorism tbh
oh… uhuh… *really should have prepared this ahead of time* never ignore… the melody of time… when your shoe’s untied?
*considers this aphorism sagely, sipping my horrible and bitter potion*
yes. there is wisdom in this. he whose shoes are untied must carefully mind the rhythm of his steps. bartender, another Wretched Potion, for my comrade here
*to self* holy shit… my aphorism… it’s wise!
I were inspired
(via pieplease)
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I know this makes the anti-voting fandom big mad but this is only happening because Murphy was re-elected by a thin margin in November 2021, bucking a 40 year trend of Democratic governors losing re-election in NJ, because enough people voted for him
Remember, people who have a victim complex about voting:
Time to update the good ol’ pinned post:
(via igothurtdoingsafetydance)
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F. Douglas Brown
[ID: Make Out Sonnet
The first time I saw two men kissing, I was six,
Living in 1970s L.A. My mom took care
Of an elderly woman who found herself in a fix
And moved into a complex of all men, bare
Chested men, with cutoff jeans and tinted glasses.
My mother’s friend gave me chocolate that matched
Her skin - this must be heaven. These sons’ asses
Peeked out beneath their shorts, but watched
Over her better than mom. Took donations for heat,
A sofa and a new wig - all changed her mood.
They even did her laundry. They did sweet
Better than honey. Did family better than blood.
And between duties, two men always off alone
So desire, like the dishes, could also get done.
end ID]
(via whatisthiswitchcraft)
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at the start of every month everyone reblogs some insane poetry that’s like “august has arrived and again I swallow my bones in the burning sun” and every time I’m like damn that makes no sense. but kind of true.
(via noekola)
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